Today, I looked at stairs. I don't normally look at stairs unless they are magnificent in some way. However, these specific stairs had very slick carpet on them. If you're anything like me, you're thinking the same thing that I was thinking:
LET'S SLIDE ON THEM!!!!
Well, to make a long story short:
I slide on my stomach, head first, with my arms at my side instead of covering my face. It didn't start out too well, so I thought I was going to figuratively crash and burn. However, about half-way down the stairs I started gaining speed, and by 4 steps down, I was going pretty fast. Since my arms were glued to my sides, I didn't stop my face from scraping against the previously wonderful carpet. My face looks like I got in a minor fight. My nose has a vertical cut/smudge/whatever-the-heck-it-is and a bruise down by my nostrils. In between my nose and my lips -in my would-be mustache area- I have bruised/given myself a nice carpet burn that stings like the DEVIL! I also have disgusting gum scraped off of the inside of my mouth. I'm in pain, and I look like someone who got pushed out of an airplane (with no parachute) and landed on their face in the middle of the intersection on Time Square, got their nose kicked by two bratty little kids crossing the sidewalk (pedestrians are even becoming more cruel) and then stepped on by their overweight Pitt-bull, got their mustache area torn apart by a nasty gang who were all-too equipped with razorblades, and finally got their inner lip cut by an Italian pizza maker who couldn't handle the violence outside his store.
I slide on my stomach, head first, with my arms at my side instead of covering my face. It didn't start out too well, so I thought I was going to figuratively crash and burn. However, about half-way down the stairs I started gaining speed, and by 4 steps down, I was going pretty fast. Since my arms were glued to my sides, I didn't stop my face from scraping against the previously wonderful carpet. My face looks like I got in a minor fight. My nose has a vertical cut/smudge/whatever-the-heck-it-is and a bruise down by my nostrils. In between my nose and my lips -in my would-be mustache area- I have bruised/given myself a nice carpet burn that stings like the DEVIL! I also have disgusting gum scraped off of the inside of my mouth. I'm in pain, and I look like someone who got pushed out of an airplane (with no parachute) and landed on their face in the middle of the intersection on Time Square, got their nose kicked by two bratty little kids crossing the sidewalk (pedestrians are even becoming more cruel) and then stepped on by their overweight Pitt-bull, got their mustache area torn apart by a nasty gang who were all-too equipped with razorblades, and finally got their inner lip cut by an Italian pizza maker who couldn't handle the violence outside his store.
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