It seems like I do stuff like this a lot....

I look hideous. *Steven voice*

Today, I looked at stairs. I don't normally look at stairs unless they are magnificent in some way. However, these specific stairs had very slick carpet on them. If you're anything like me, you're thinking the same thing that I was thinking:

LET'S SLIDE ON THEM!!!!

Well, to make a long story short:
I slide on my stomach, head first, with my arms at my side instead of covering my face. It didn't start out too well, so I thought I was going to figuratively crash and burn. However, about half-way down the stairs I started gaining speed, and by 4 steps down, I was going pretty fast. Since my arms were glued to my sides, I didn't stop my face from scraping against the previously wonderful carpet. My face looks like I got in a minor fight. My nose has a vertical cut/smudge/whatever-the-heck-it-is and a bruise down by my nostrils. In between my nose and my lips -in my would-be mustache area- I have bruised/given myself a nice carpet burn that stings like the DEVIL! I also have disgusting gum scraped off of the inside of my mouth. I'm in pain, and I look like someone who got pushed out of an airplane (with no parachute) and landed on their face in the middle of the intersection on Time Square, got their nose kicked by two bratty little kids crossing the sidewalk (pedestrians are even becoming more cruel) and then stepped on by their overweight Pitt-bull, got their mustache area torn apart by a nasty gang who were all-too equipped with razorblades, and finally got their inner lip cut by an Italian pizza maker who couldn't handle the violence outside his store.

Driving Funnies

Yesterday I went on my country drive.
My partner/ buddy/ pal went first...... because I got in the back seat before he did. {he he}
So we went through the beautiful hills of Idaho (insert sarcasm) and the rest is pretty much history.
I'm still alive, although my ego was thrice wounded by immature people who happened to forget that they had once driven in a fancy Drivers Ed car.
Oh, and around 5:30 I got hungry. We went through the city to get to McDonalds and the guy at the first window said that this was the only t time a student driver had ever pulled in.
I cleared my throat and, in my best most nerdiest voice, said, "Yeah."




With this face.











Ha ha ha ha. They were probably laughing it up.

After that slightly embarrassing moment we headed off to class and listened to a cop talk to us. About laws. It was thrilling. I never knew we had so many.

The only problem was he sounded like a mix of the guy off of Daddy Day Care and Rex Kwon- Do.

I had a really hard time taking him seriously.

Oh, but my teacher told us a SUPER funny story... I wish I could take credit for it.

A few years ago, on the night that they had the State Trooper come in and talk to one of the class, a boy walked in with a homemade t- shirt that said, "I Love Cops".
He was carrying a Tupperware bowl with a lid on it; my teacher didn't think anything of it (kids usually bring food to torture everyone else with).

After the cop asked if anyone had any questions, the boy raised his hand.

"Can I grow marijuana just for the looks of it? I don't want to smoke it, I just like how it looks."

The State Trooper replied that, no, that was illegal.

The boy sighed, pried open the lid of his Tupperware bowl, took out a doughnut, brought it towards his mouth and slowly said, "Well, then, no doughnut for you."

*Sigh* I wish I could have thought of something funny like that.

Once Upon a Time

Since I am using this blog as my blog/ journal, I decided that there is a story so hilarious that I need to record so that I don't forget. Since I don't write in my journal, I have to type it up here. Which will be really easy, because I type faster than I write (hence the journal/ blog).
Some of you might have heard this story, so I thought that you can have it further ingrained into your memory because everyone should read this story.

So.. onto my story.


I call it, "Story."

Okay so the night of the Drivers Ed Orientation, they told us how things would work etc. My teacher told us that if we wanted to, we could bring money and practice going through the fast food Drive- Thru (apparently it's tough???) and that he would have his foot on the brake so that we didn't make any fatal mistakes.

Ummm....

I kind of got just a wee bit nervous, because I thought his foot would be on my brake, on my side of the car.

Awkward....

I think that was when my Mom noticed my extreme discomfort and whispered that there was another brake on the passenger side.

Phew! *Wipes sweat off of forehead*

Can you imagine how uncomfortable it would be for everyone if there weren't another brake? Yikes!