The Sun'll Come Out Tomorrow... Or Never

Yesterday, the sun didn't come out. Even though, in a semi- sort of way, it was a tomorrow. Because I had Drivers Ed, I was -to say the least- not very excited about driving in rain/ sleet/ snow/hail.
I momentarily thought about feigning the cut on my finger as a major or maybe fatal injury. About a half a second later, I knew that would be a total lame excuse.

So... long story short I went anyway and it was just fine.

Okay, but listen to this. Or read it. I wasn't going to blog about this, but it is too funny.
I automatically get in the back of the car so that my buddy-partner-pal can drive first.
So he was driving and we got to a turn and my teacher starts walking him through it.

"Turn right at this intersection.''
We get there.
"Now brake a little on your approach, and again when you are turning."
He does it perfectly, most of the time. I won't discuss how much this angers me.
But then! Then....
"You forgot your blinker. Make sure you use your blinker on the next turn."

I smile softly to myself.
He made a mistake.
And I was the Self- Proclaimed Master of the Blinker.

I also parallel- parked behind a lady who did it so awfully that you could totally tell she did not have a Drivers Ed instructor with her.

I also went to Arby's because I was famished and their food is beyond delicious. And the dumb people made fun of me.
I gave them my money and they laughed at me.
There are 2 life lessons to be learned in this:
Never give someone your money after they laugh at you.
Never laugh at someone after they give you money or pay your sad salary. They could chuck their medium root beer right back in your face. (Not that I did that, I'm just saying...)

Anyways, they kept laughing at me. It upset me.

Let's play a round of Who Should Be Pitied?

Someone in a Drivers Ed car? (Everyone has to take Drivers Ed. Unless you are Superman. Then you are just a moving violation.)

Someone who works at Arby's? (Not everyone has to work at Arby's. It's a choice.)

Since the government forces me and everyone else to take Drivers Ed, and those people chose of their own free will to work at Arby's and working at Arby's is nerdy (because it is in the fast food category)...


Then I think that they should shut their mouths. And pity themselves. Because I will never work at Arby's. And they do.

But I did not laugh at them, because I am a good person (and they still had my food, meaning they still could spit in it). I, clearly, have more reason to laugh at them than they have to laugh at me, but I did not.

Driving Funnies

Yesterday I went on my country drive.
My partner/ buddy/ pal went first...... because I got in the back seat before he did. {he he}
So we went through the beautiful hills of Idaho (insert sarcasm) and the rest is pretty much history.
I'm still alive, although my ego was thrice wounded by immature people who happened to forget that they had once driven in a fancy Drivers Ed car.
Oh, and around 5:30 I got hungry. We went through the city to get to McDonalds and the guy at the first window said that this was the only t time a student driver had ever pulled in.
I cleared my throat and, in my best most nerdiest voice, said, "Yeah."




With this face.











Ha ha ha ha. They were probably laughing it up.

After that slightly embarrassing moment we headed off to class and listened to a cop talk to us. About laws. It was thrilling. I never knew we had so many.

The only problem was he sounded like a mix of the guy off of Daddy Day Care and Rex Kwon- Do.

I had a really hard time taking him seriously.

Oh, but my teacher told us a SUPER funny story... I wish I could take credit for it.

A few years ago, on the night that they had the State Trooper come in and talk to one of the class, a boy walked in with a homemade t- shirt that said, "I Love Cops".
He was carrying a Tupperware bowl with a lid on it; my teacher didn't think anything of it (kids usually bring food to torture everyone else with).

After the cop asked if anyone had any questions, the boy raised his hand.

"Can I grow marijuana just for the looks of it? I don't want to smoke it, I just like how it looks."

The State Trooper replied that, no, that was illegal.

The boy sighed, pried open the lid of his Tupperware bowl, took out a doughnut, brought it towards his mouth and slowly said, "Well, then, no doughnut for you."

*Sigh* I wish I could have thought of something funny like that.

Once Upon a Time

Since I am using this blog as my blog/ journal, I decided that there is a story so hilarious that I need to record so that I don't forget. Since I don't write in my journal, I have to type it up here. Which will be really easy, because I type faster than I write (hence the journal/ blog).
Some of you might have heard this story, so I thought that you can have it further ingrained into your memory because everyone should read this story.

So.. onto my story.


I call it, "Story."

Okay so the night of the Drivers Ed Orientation, they told us how things would work etc. My teacher told us that if we wanted to, we could bring money and practice going through the fast food Drive- Thru (apparently it's tough???) and that he would have his foot on the brake so that we didn't make any fatal mistakes.

Ummm....

I kind of got just a wee bit nervous, because I thought his foot would be on my brake, on my side of the car.

Awkward....

I think that was when my Mom noticed my extreme discomfort and whispered that there was another brake on the passenger side.

Phew! *Wipes sweat off of forehead*

Can you imagine how uncomfortable it would be for everyone if there weren't another brake? Yikes!

Get in the Car, please. I have Many Places to go Today.

So yesterday I went into Idaho Falls at 4:00 to drive with my new driving buddies..... Yay.

Here's what happened.

I decided that I had a distinct disadvantage as I sat in the back set and observed my buddies (a slightly normal boy and an emo girl) driving around the cones, making U- turns, and some three point turns, and then went around roundabouts, neighborhoods and other stuff. They drove like they had been for a while. Illegally, I might add.

After they both drove for about an hour and 15 minutes, it was my turn. After a silent meltdown, and 75 minutes of praying that I would not have a fatal heart attack, I got out of the back seat and in the front of the car.

As I was driving around the cones I realized that turning the steering wheel is actually important, and that accelerating too fast does not actually help you get around the cones faster.

I drove around the roundabouts and found out that it is good that there is another brake in the car.

I finished the roundabouts, turned onto another road, and got closer to a church that we had passed 2 times before. But instead of driving right past it, my instructor told me to turn into the parking lot.
Thoughts were percolating in my head. What had I done wrong? Why did I have to turn into the parking lot? Nobody else had had to pull in to the church! Ahhhh!
So I pulled in and he told me to try and park in a space. I leveled the bottom of the mirror with the top of the curb and parked, just like he told me to.

"Did you do that right?"

"I.... uhh..... bleh blem, *he hem* I dunno." *eyes widen nervously*

He opened his door and started to get out, so I figured that we were making sure I didn't do any damage to the car. I unbuckled my seat belt with my slightly clammy hands and opened the door. The long walk to the front of the car exacerbated my feelings of anxiety.

The first thing I saw was a hole and scratches on my side of the car.

After I freaked out- inside my head, of course- I realized that the hole that I thought I had made was actually the headlight and that the scratches were from previous students. And I breathed a sigh of distinct relief.

So I pulled out and we continued on our journey.

We came to an intersection and I was supposed to make a moving left turn. Now, my driving pals had never had to make a left hand turn with a car sitting on the opposite side of the road that we were supposed to turn on to. Needless to say, with a pretty new Nissan sitting on the other side of the road, my turn was slightly perfect.

And you can take that to the bank.

You Can Have My Watch When I Am Dead.

I am driving for the first time in Drivers Ed today.

The Only Video Game I Play Is....

I think that Simpson's Road Rage on XBOX is a perfect way to practice for Drivers Ed.

What fun.

Driver's Permit

I won't mention the extreme amounts of RED TAPE that I had to work around this afternoon in order to get my Permit...
But, oh, the horror! The picture they took of me was awful!
I probably shouldn't have squeezed my mouth really hard and made the blood vessels in my neck almost burst, but I don't talk about that. I didn't get rid of the Banden Banshee by smiling at him.


(Name that movie!)

Drivers Ed

Tonight is my Orientation meeting for Drivers Ed.
I am guessing that the meeting is primarily for people who don't think.
Here's what I think they will talk about.

1) Have you started driving yet? We hope not, because that would be breaking the law.

2) Please do not

A: come into class with drugs/ alcohol in your possession
B: operate our vehicle directly after you have taken drugs/ alcohol
C: I just wasted time repeating this because it should be common sense BECAUSE DRUGS AND ALCOHOL ARE ILLEGAL AND THEY WILL KILL YOU!

In most states those things are illegal. And if you do illegal things you go to jail.
Bad. For. You.